While taking a walk last week Sunday, my mind started to take me on several journeys into the past. A journey of different experiences. And for today, I’d like to share one of the stories here.
In my old neighbourhood somewhere in Lagos, there was this amazing woman. For the sake of this story, let’s call her Mrs ABC.
Mrs ABC is a trader, a wife, and a mother of two children. Oh, how I admire Mrs ABC’s strength and resilience. She was always up very early in the morning to prepare her children for school, set things in order, and head to her store, where she’d stay till night, sometimes as late as 11 PM.
She’s a woman admired by everyone, and it’s not just because of her resilience and strength, but also because of the warmth she carried with her every step of the way. She smiles so often, you would never think she has any battle she is dealing with.
On Sundays, when she is not in her store, she’d sit quietly outside, smiling and greeting every passerby. It was probably her way of destressing after a very long week of bills and responsibilities.
Everything was going perfectly well (seemingly so), until it wasn’t. It was a random hot afternoon, when the wooden furniture smelled like sunlight trapped inside a tree. Reports began to circulate that Mrs ABC had attempted suicide and only survived because she was seen early.
Mrs ABC was clad in a onesie of beautiful smiles. But behind those smiles were burdens she was trying so hard to hide, battles she was fighting with every breath in her. Perhaps, she masked the pain so well that even she could have convinced herself that she was fine.
The revealing fact is this: not only Mrs ABC is facing this. A lot of women have been made to believe that being a woman comes with the expectation of handling everything so well, including not being fine.
Women are there every time for everyone. This then begs the question: Who plays that role for women? Who is there for women when they need a space to unburden?
If hearts could speak out loud, many women would not be described as strong; they would be described as tired. Tired of pretending they are fine. Tired of carrying expectations without rest. Tired of fighting silent battles no one sees.
Some women are carrying too much silence. Silence about the expectations placed on their shoulders, the battles fought behind smiling photos, the need to do well in the professional space while being there for the family.
Perhaps the most powerful celebration we can offer to women is not flowers, speeches, or hashtags. Perhaps it is something simpler, a space where women can finally put the weight down.
Check up on a woman today. Smile at her and ask how she’s doing. Not in the generic “How are you?” way, but in words where she feels safe enough to let the kilograms off her shoulder.
We will keep celebrating every woman at Campus Cares.
Do not forget: a hand is closer than you think.
By Augustine Okeyade